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Through decades of advertising, the word “mail order bride” has turned into a meme. Most memes are harmless and in fact facilitate more colorful communication. Some common examples are “shop ’til you drop”, or “clean as being a whistle”, or “talk the talk and walk the walk”, and one more, uh, oh yes, “senior moment.” Nevertheless the term “mail order bride” carries connotations from 100 years ago which can be will no longer true and which render utilization of the term harmful in today’s world. Discontinued use of the term will lead to much happier intercultural marriages through a resetting of expectations.

However the term is widely used including application of its negative connotations; the main one being the thought of buying a woman from a catalog. Further, you can find implications, based on its original application to Asian women, that define the sort of women provided by a catalog.

Even though term had not been invented on the Internet, “mail order brides” has definitely found traction being a useful and profitable term. It’s an undeniable fact that about a hundred years ago there actually were, wherein a catalog of women’s biographical info and photos may be viewed, selections made, and brides purchased. These first catalogs were for “picture brides” to become joined in marriage to Japanese and Korean labor men who had been imported to Hawaii and California during the late 1800’s and early 1900’s.

The image bride phenomenon died out because of changes in U.S. immigration laws in 1924. Nevertheless the legacy of bridal catalogs lived on. And the target market changed from immigrant Japanese and Korean laborers to Caucasian men. The catalogs were focused mainly on Asian women however they promoted an ages old view of Asian women to be meek, submissive, obedient, and sexually compliant, who, incidentally, had great family values.

How this came into existence descriptive of Asian women is actually a mystery. Possibly it absolutely was a concept brought back by Marco Polo on his return from his epic journey towards the Orient. Or possibly it’s associated with the Chinese practice of foot binding women. It’s also probable that those two factors combined with the Japanese geisha girl mystique led to formation in the description.

However this characterization of Asian women started, it “stuck” and was widely promoted in bride catalogs. The catalogs evolved over decades to add slick color graphics and were mass marketed, on newsstands, by paid subscription, and ultimately on the Internet.

Thus there exists a stereotypical description along with the organization model of mail order, and also the outcome is “Mail Order Bride”, a mechanism through which a man could browse a catalog and select a lady who appeals to him. He could supposedly “buy” her and have her perform her wifely duties for him depending on his media created expectations.

Through the effectiveness of advertising and mass distribution, a meme has been given that combines a flawed look at women having a real business design. Bride catalogs are of help vehicles for people for connecting with potential mates. There are lots of countless them available, both on the web and in printed form. And mail order is actually a useful, respectable business design. However, there is no such thing as being a “mail order bride.” You can’t purchase a women from the mail. Period.

Another improvement in the bride catalogs which includes happened is they are actually increasingly multicultural. Yes there are still many Asian women within the catalogs. But in addition there are many Latinas. Along with the breakup in the Soviet Union, there are many women of Russian heritage. Because these women are in a catalog, all of them have the same derogatory “mail order bride” label slapped to them.

In reality, it’s becoming almost chic to use the word. You can find a minimum of three seriously intentioned Internet articles that described the English women brought to Jamestown, Virginia in 1619 as “mail order brides.” Perhaps these casual varieties of usage are a natural process whereby the meme gradually loses its negative stigma. It will be nice when the commercial interests did their part and quit pushing a 100 year-old social poison being a coveted antidote for loneliness.

The term “mail order bride” features a sad history as a result of factors involved in its origin. Thankfully the circumstances which cause its creation no more exist. But precisely what does yet exist is promotion in the term for commercial purposes. This results in its application in totally inappropriate ways with resultant social harm. It generates resentment and a feeling of aykchm for foreign women. In addition it improves the problem of marital adjustment for intercultural marriages due to false expectations going into the relationship.

Foreign women know of this term. But in most cases, because of language challenges and cultural differences, they are fully aware of this only in a literal sense. Their reaction is disgust at their being considered a commodity to get bought just like a prostitute. And there is not any faster way to discover the “Russian bear” than to relate to a Russian woman as if she is bought and bought, or by expecting her to be meek or submissive.

False expectations strongly play a role in discord in every relationship. There are other than enough hurdles to work through in creating a successful intercultural marriage. Increasing them expectations of behavior according to a demeaning stereotype is a recipe for disaster.

If a man will accept his foreign bride for who she actually is as opposed to exactly what the man wants her to be based upon what he’s “heard”, then intercultural marriage can truly be joyous. It’s your choice, men. In case you are on the pursuit of an overseas bride, forget the “mail order bride” stuff. It’s a loaded term and will set you up for failure. Rather, stretch for the enlightened perspective and you should not label the women in the catalogs at all. Refer to them instead as “women searching for husbands.” This makes it easier and much more fun to find the one you’re trying to find; so when she marries you, your life together is going to be much more fulfilling.